Why some put their elders in nursing home?

I can not understand this,surely we should give back the love and protection they gave us when we needed it

It's not always possible. Due to my father's mental & physical state, we could not provide the medical care he required at home. My mother is still in her home with family members living there too because she does not require the same extreme level of care.

Yes,that is fine when elderly parents are in reasonable health.But when you have a parent so debilitated by medical conditions that they are unable to walk and unable to do anything at all for themselves,then with great reluctance and sadness,full-time care is the only option. I know,because I've been down that road.

You would think so given that they have taken care of them as an infant and deserve a payback for all their hard work.

Yes they deserve to be treated in the very best manner possible,I can not understand those who would place their Mother or Father in a home simply because it is more convenient for their style of living.

My heart goes out to people who have to make that decision due to mental or physical difficulties. But people who just stick them in there to get them out of the way, I don't understand.

My grandparents had to be put in assisted living because none of their kids had the space, time, money or resources to deal with them. They weren't just dumping my grandparents off some place to die. In an Elderly Home they also have other people they can talk to and become friends with. There is a difference between abandoning the elderly and making frequent vists to their place to care for them love and cherish them.

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I took care of my mother for many years. She suffered from senile dementia and Alzheimer's after she had a car accident that put her in a wheel chair. Every single caretaker I hired quit within a day or less because my mother was violent and extremely verbally abusive and constantly demanding. No one could take care of her. I was her only child, she had no other relatives and all her friends were old, and I had to work full time to support myself; she was on Social Security and lived in public housing. She was miserable and lonely and angry and crazy, often hitting people or stabbing herself with a knife because she was upset. It was a nightmare. Eventually, when it became clear she needed full time nursing care, I decided to put her in a home. The first home kicked her out after only a few hours because she was so difficult and violent. The second home worked out much better.

For many years, when I took her to psychiatrists, she would lie to them and they believed her. This is common with old folks who have dementia. Eventually, when I put her in a home that was good for her, they observed her over a period of time and were able to force her to see a geriatric specialist psychiatrist. For the first time in years, she got medical help and it made all the difference in the world. She was in place with other old folks and she made friends and wasn't lonely. She had activities that neither I or her many caretakers could not give her; games, singing groups, arts and crafts, music, everything she loved and enjoyed. And the medication the psychiatrist prescribed for her gave her a wonderful 10 years, from the age of 84 to the age she died, at 94. For the first time in many years, her mind cleared enough for she and I to have a wonderful relationship (she was abusive to me when I was a child and for many years she was awful to deal with in many ways). The medications and the nursing care and the environment of a place where she could socialize (she even had boyfriends!) and do things she liked to do made such a positive difference in her life.

I visited her every week, more often when I could. I always looked forward to seeing her. For the first time in years, we had good times together. I took care of her personally as long as I could. There are good homes and bad ones. I put her in a good one. And I do not regret it. If I have any regrets, it was for all the years she was angry, confused, lonely and abusing all her caretakers who could not cope with her. I promise you, if you had spent even one whole hour with my mother before she went into the home, you would most definitely NOT loved and cherished her. Not all old folks can be well cared for at home. Some need special care. And it is not unloving or wrong to make that decision when it is needed.

Clearly you are a loving and caring person and did what was best for your mother,i admire what you did for your Mother,thank you for such a positive response.

They don't always deserve it, my father was a bastard to me growing up, I wouldn't even give him the comfort of an old home, I'd leave him on the street and sleep like a baby the next night without any regrets.

I would even though, I had no love from them. But they died before this was necessary. Hello Gav

I took care of my parents when they got older and were unable to fully care for themselves. But their limitations were all physical so while it was time consuming it was easy to take care of them. I felt like you do they took care of me when I was too young to care for myself so I took care of them when they were no longer able to care for themselves. But sometimes it really can't be avoided. I also cared for my grandfather who had Alzheimer's and in the early stages I was able to keep up with it myself. But when he got into the late stages with all the medical complications and I knew I wans't doing him justice trying to care for him myself I had to put him in a home that specialized in Alzheimer's care. I could see right away that they were doing a much better job than I was able to do so I went to visit him daily and would take him little treats and things to help make him happy. It was a hard decision to put him in the home but it really was the best thing to do for him.

This question can only truly be answered only by those who have suffered through the decline and ultimate deterioration of a loved one . In the case of Alzheimer's , it becomes an impossibility for any loving person to handle without professional assistance. It is an overwhelming burden that sadly can go on for years.

For those who believe it is an obligation for us to care for our parents because they indeed cared for us I cannot help but agree. However, that being said, there comes a time when your own life that your parents worked so hard for you to obtain becomes a nightmare that no parent would knowingly perpetrate on that child.

Every situation is different. You can't assume people are doing the wrong thing unless your living thier life.
"surely we should give back the love and protection they gave us when we needed it"

Aaaaaand if they didn't...?

I will see to it that my parents, when they are unable to care for themselves, are placed somewhere they are cared for and have company.

Aside from that, I want as little to do with them as possible. Why? Because they sucked as parents, and the best thing they could have done for me - but didn't - was not have had me at all.

Because when they have Alzheimer's, a complicated disease, or simply they lose bowel control, it becomes nearly impossible to
- have a life and
- continue to make a living
- and care for one's own family,
- take care of your own health,
unless you get help from these institutions



http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/Why-Do-Some-Put-Their-Parents-In-Old-Peoples-Homes-Rather-Than-Taking-Care-Of-Themloving-And-Cherishing-Their-Company/341271

effect of living in nursing home

Effect of living in nursing home

Nursing homes are great for elderly people that have a hard time living on their own, but a problem that happens sometimes in nursing homes is the quality of air, and this can cause some unwanted health problems for the elderly. It is very important for nursing homes to constantly test the quality of air in there retirement centers to ensure the senior citizens that live there are breathing clean air. Here are some stories about nursing home air quality concerns when it comes to the health and safety of seniors.

Courant – This is an interesting article about a study in Connecticut about poor air quality in state nursing homes and the effects it is having on the patients there.
ArticlesBase – In this article there is information on the impact of poor air quality on the elderly and how pollutants affect asthma, viruses, bacteria and other irritants.
Long-Term Living – This is an alarming article that describes the ill effects that poor air quality can have on seniors including asthma and cancer.
Buzzle – This article names the top offenders of poor air quality and how nursing home residents are affected most.
First Health – This is an article that examines the detrimental impact that nursing home air quality can have on its residents.
Environment – This is a blog that focuses on the impacts of smog, pollutants and overall poor air quality and how the elderly with weakened immune systems and lung capacities are affected and how to help.
Saiontz & Kirk – This article talks about the problems one nursing home in Baltimore had with air quality and its adverse affects on its’ residents.
Home Gas Heaters – This is a blog about the adverse affects of poor air quality, its effects on nursing home residents and small children and how to eliminate it.
Lone Wolf Review – This blog suggests that keeping the elderly indoors may be more harmful due to poor air quality.
Neck Arthritis – This is an article about how the cleaners and chemical agents used for cleaning can contribute to poor air quality and impact health in the homes of the elderly.
Arch1Design – This is a surprising article about how poor air quality has caused the deaths of many elderly in Canada and why it is happening.
How to Cure Asthma Permanently – This is a post about airborne debris and contaminants, their effects on senior citizens and their health.
New England Journal of Medicine – This is a journal article about how tobacco smoke and other pollutants affect the elderly in public housing.
Footprints – This post is about ground level ozone levels and how they impact the indoor air quality or senior citizens in their homes and what the government is doing about it.
Air American – This is a blog about how the indoor air quality of senior homes are 2 to 5 times more toxic than outdoor air and how it affects their health.
Carpet Steam Cleaners – This is a blog about the need for carpet steam cleaners in nursing homes due to prevention of airborne pollutants that make the elderly patients ill.
Nursing Home Insurance – This is a blog explaining why air qualities among other amenities are absolutely necessary for quality nursing homes.
Medscape – This is an article about improving the physical environments of nursing homes with inclusion of air quality and how poor air quality affects the residents there and their safety.
WBAL – This is a story about what happens when the indoor air quality Is not sufficient in a nursing home and how it affected the residents.
About Nursing Home Neglect – This is an article about nursing homes that have been cited by government officials because of poor air quality putting their residents in risk.
Common Dreams – This is an interesting blog about how moderate air quality problems can result in heart attacks and other health issues for the elderly in and out of nursing facilities.
Baltimore Sun – This is a story about the ill effects of heat and poor air quality in a nursing home.
US News – This is a story about the adverse effects that air pollution and poor air quality have on the elderly in and out of nursing homes.
Harry Pottering – This is an article about nursing home neglect as a result of poor air quality and its effects on nursing home residents.
Mercury – This is another example of a nursing home that came under fire for poor air quality conditions and risk to the residents’ health.
OJIN – This is a journal article about the increasing issues with air quality in nursing homes and how the health of the senior citizens in the homes is negatively impacted.
Your Lawyer – This post is about the problems associated with nursing homes that do not comply with air quality standards and put their residents at risk.
SMUD – This is a blog about what nursing home standards are supposed to reflect in compliance with air quality and how the residents are affected when they fail.
CME – This is a journal article about the ways in which elderly with chronic pulmonary diseases are affected by poor air quality in their nursing homes.
Ashrae – This is an article about indoor air quality in nursing homes specifically and the decline in the quality of life that poor air quality forces upon the residents.
European Respiratory Journal – This is a journal article about a study that concluded that elderly persons living in nursing or community homes are at high risk of illness due to poor indoor air pollution.
GreenFacts – This post discusses the causes, concerns, and effects of poor air quality on the elderly in and out of nursing homes.
Medical News Today – This is a blog about the link between poor air quality and cardiovascular diseases in senior housing.
Chiro – This is a blog and resource for information about indoor air quality and its effects on the elderly whether they reside at home or in a nursing community.
AKLung – This is a post that teaches readers about indoor air quality, its dangers, it’s effects on the quality of life of children and seniors and how to improve IAQ.
RabbitAir – This is an article about how air pollution can not only cost more in Medicare billing but can also diminish the quality of life for an elder patient.
ISPUB – This is a journal article about the adverse effects indoor air quality has had on the elderly in a province of Nigeria.
American Mold Inspection – This is a short blog about indoor air quality testing and why the elderly and children are most at risk for poor air quality.
Science Daily – This is a study about poor air quality and the link between carbon monoxide levels and increased risks of cardiovascular and other serious diseases in elderly homes.
SciVerse – This is an interesting article about the effects of indoor air pollution caused by cooking on elderly women in homes.
Mother Nature Network – This is a blog with surprising facts about the chemicals in cleaning products and their contribution to poor indoor air quality in elderly homes.
Charity Guide – This is an interesting article about indoor air quality and why going green may be making our elderly sick and includes tips on how to improve air quality.
FAQS – This is a blog that addresses the history, issues, and health risks to senior homes of indoor air quality.
The World Bank – This article is about the poor air quality in elder homes in Bangladesh and how their health care and quality of life is affected.
Coway – This is a post about the dangers to the elderly with and without pre-existing conditions due to poor air quality.
Ehso– This is a blog with very comprehensive information about indoor air quality in residential and nursing homes and the effects of poor air quality on the elderly, children, and nursing mothers.
Air Duct Cleaning – This is a post about clean air ducts, poor air quality, and the issues presented to elder homes.
Earth Platform – This is a blog about many different types of air pollution and how they affect air quality, health, and senior homes.
ServiceMagic – This is a post about indoor air quality, what causes poor air quality and how it affects elder homes, children, and those with chronic illnesses.
Lacomech – This is a blog about mold and bacteria and how they can cause illness and diminish the air quality of your home, nursing homes and hospitals causing illness and chronic problems.

Sourcenursinghome.org

The Benefits of Nursing Home Living

As people age, participating in activities and taking part in social events becomes more difficult. Deterioration in physical and mental health, mobility limitations, and lack of communication can cause friendship groups to break apart thus forcing elderly people into isolation. The isolation experienced by elderly people can lead to lowered self-esteem and depression which can, in turn, cause more serious health issues. Today’s elderly care facilities, such as nursing homes and assisted living facilities, take the psychological implications of isolation into account and attempt to create an active environment for elderly residents. Most elderly care facilities have a calendar of activities, such as card tournaments and cinema nights, to prevent feelings of social isolation in residents. Because many elderly people can no longer drive because of poor eyesight and slower reflexes, elderly care facilities plan activities such as escorted group outings to shopping centers, museums, and other places of interest. Many elderly care facilities have an activities director that will encourage residents to suggest enjoyable leisure activities. Today’s elderly care facilities make attempts to ensure that elderly residents are involved in activities because involvement helps to maintain an elevated mood state.

Care Plan Information™ Helps Families Make the Right Choice

Elderly people who are experiencing social isolation will become depressed, especially if the person was extremely active in younger years. Care Plan Information™ gives families a way to assess elderly care facilities to help ensure that an elderly family member will receive comprehensive care and stay active and involved in leisure activities suited for the elderly. Staying active in society by partaking in the range of activities offered by elderly care facilities, elderly people can enjoy the later stages of life. Visit www.CarePlanInformation.com today to order information that helps families address the needs of an elderly loved one.



Source: http://www.careplaninformation.com

How a Person can Change when Living in a Nursing Home

RECOGNITION
Though I am not a health care expert, observations show me that 1. Communication skills will diminish. 2. Common objects and words may not be easily identifiable after years of nursing home living - simple things like colors, names of fruits, vegetables and meats. After 5 years of not seeing (or using) things that used to be familiar, mother forgot her favorite flower varieties, and cold not identify colors. We found bringing in magazines and picture books helped her to recollect and identify objects. We would sit with her at a table and point out certain things; ask her questions.
People only seen in the recent past may become hard to remember - like young great grandchildren! I understand that is a short-term/long-term memory issue. Look at the hints about photos in Tips for helping a person living in a nursing home. Don't feel bad if nature and time have caused someone, including yourself, not to be recognized. You may need to gently re-introduce yourself, but show your love anyway, and talk about familiar things.
MOM'S HERE TO STAY
Observation: In a nursing home people can become depressed - cry or withdraw. When the realization that they are there to stay sets in; or they fervently miss their previously independent life; or when they miss being among family life; or when they miss the familiarity of their old home, there may be tears and depression. Sometimes drugs will be prescribed to alleviate nursing home depression. Sometimes you have to ask for drugs. It helps to talk to the person you love. See the section on What can I talk about with a person in a nursing home?Observation: In a nursing home people can become angry - even people who were normally docile. From time to time we hear shouters and even foul language! I have seen residents get very angry with aids, not because the aid was doing anything wrong, but rather because the person was simply "mad at the world".On the other hand, people who were normally tough, impolite or angry can become docile, polite or sweetie pies. There are people who do not change at all as well. Suggestion: In a nursing home, initially people who do not understand they are there to stay or don't want to stay, may resist participating in activities based on the fact they believe they are only there temporarily. It can be tough to tell and re-tell the person you love that this is their home now. If you are truly uncomfortable in telling the person this outright, try setting benchmarks for going home: Clearly set a list of requirements. Is this false hope? First of all, hope is a wonderful thing. Next, the benchmarks you set should be that of a physically ok person. If indeed they can get themselves back into shape, would you take them home with you or could they go home? If so you may prefer to use this approach. "When you can walk the length of the hall without any help, and when you can go to the bathroom safely by yourself, and when you can step into and out of a tub safely, and when you are up to cooking 3 meals a day safely and when you can vacuum and dust on your own, or when there's no chance of your falling down when you are alone, ……. (you can add to the criteria based on the persons inability at the moment- even mental capabilities) ". When the subject comes up again, measure their progress together. Remind them of the benchmarks and kindly remind them they have to work on building certain strengths. Encourage that the nursing home is a safer place for them to be right now. Ease them into knowing they are in the best place for them. Ease them into trying activities while they're working on improving their abilities.
Observation: Some people are actually relieved to be living in nursing home: People who worried about injuries, or are tired of the energy it takes to run a home or apartment, those worried about getting in or out of the bathtub, people tired of hot days and snow days, some who don't have the energy for cooking or shopping or cleaning. Just being alone can be frightening or difficult for some people. Some people know when they have worked enough in their life and it is time they were taken care of.

Source: http://www.dbbern.com

Living In A Nursing Home: Myths and Realities... Advice For Families

Many myths, or misconceptions, persist about nursing facility life. In the past decade, nursing facilities, like all areas of health care, have changed dramatically in terms of staffing, policies, procedures, and general approach to the needs of their patients. The goals of the long term care profession are to provide both quality care and quality of life in a safe and secure environment.
Understandably, some people are apprehensive about a move from their own home to a nursing facility. People do not know what to expect, and worry about what they believe is relinquishing control over their lives. Long term care providers understand these concerns, and want patients and their families to know the difference between the myths and the realities of life in a nursing facility.

Myth: A nursing facility is like a hospital.
Myth: Nursing facility patients are confused.
Myth: There's no privacy in a nursing facility.
Myth: Nursing facility patients never leave.
Myth: I will not be able to make my own decisions.
Myth: Nursing facilities have unpleasant odors.
Myth: Nursing facilities do not provide adequate care.
Myth: Husbands and wives must live apart in a nursing facility.
Myth: Nursing facility patients are not visited regularly by family and friends.
Myth: Meals are not appetizing.
Myth: Patients are controlled by medications.
Myth: Physical restraints/restrictive devices are common.
Myth: Nursing facilities are expensive.
Myth: Medicare or my health insurance will pay for a lengthy stay in a nursing facility.


Source:http://www.longtermcareliving.com