Often people say they hate to visit nursing homes because "they smell." Or it's depressing to see all of those old people sitting in their wheelchairs waiting to die. Or, well, they just hate it and feel guilty about hating it.
Okay, let's tackle the smell, since I've heard this excuse from people who have never darkened the door of a nursing home. Accidents happen. Even the most well-run nursing home will have incontinent people who need to be changed. That being said, a good facility will handle this well and the situation will be transient. If the home consistently smells of human waste, or even cleaning products, this could be a clue that the home isn't well run. This could be an alert for you to check into how good the care is, overall.
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So, there you go. That's a reason to visit. While you are at it, use your gut to determine if the residents seem to be treated with respect, or if they are just a lump to be moved from place to place. Does the staff attempt to joke with the elder, or sympathize with him or her? Is there real human connection going on? Consider yourself a person on a mission. No, not a person out to "get" the facility staff - but someone to observe and learn. That is another reason to visit.
Next, use a little insight. Personally, I feel one huge reason many people avoid going into nursing homes is that there is no better place to have our own mortality thrown in our face. This could be us in a few years time, and we don't like that feeling. Get honest with yourself. If this is at the bottom of your reluctance to visit, then stare your fear in the face. Visit your loved one in the nursing home, make yourself useful with other residents as well, and work as an activist to improve nursing homes, so that when you are old - yes, you will get old, if you are fortunate enough to live that long - nursing homes are better than they are now.
Tips for Caregivers
Veterans Assistance Find Emotional Balance 7 questions that could change caregiving Asking the right questions can put you on a powerful new path. Taking Charge Without Taking Over Helping aging parents with daily tasks 5 ways to help your parents without taking over or making them feel less independent. Questions about Assisted Living? Find answers about Assisted Living When it is time for a family member to move to assisted living, caregivers and family members have lots of questions. Words of Comfort: What to Say When Someone is Dying Many of us just don’t know what to say to a loved one who is facing their mortality. Words often fail us when a friend or family member is dying.
Source: www.agingcare.com
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