How to Visit a Nursing Home With Kids

Visiting a nursing home by yourself or with other adults is one thing; taking the kids can be quite something else. It is important for children to see how people age and what happens when we are unable to continue caring for ourselves in old age, to help them gain both appreciation for this process and respect for the people in nursing homes.

Steps

1. 1
   Explain to your children why you are visiting. Before you go, tell them why it is important to see your elderly resident in the nursing home. Describe for them the many wonderful things about this person, what they have done in life, and why they are now living in a nursing home. Be upbeat, positive, and respectful.

   
   

   
   
2. 2
   Don't say unpleasant things about the person you are visiting. If you don't like visiting this person, keep the reasons and attitude out of the range of the kids. While older teenagers and adults can certainly understand the reasons behind your negative feelings, kids find it hard to comprehend why they should show respect to someone if you're not doing so yourself. Keep it simple, respectful and undetailed when discussing the visit with them, and for everyone's sake, keep the visit short under these circumstances!
3. 3
   Consider taking a gift. Have the children choose it, wrap it, and give it to the elderly person. This gives them a sense of responsibility and engagement in the occasion. Simple things such as fresh fruit, new magazines, large print books, chocolates, etc. are usually great items if you don't already have something in mind.
4. 4
   Explain to the children how to behave respectfully in a nursing home. It is very important that the kids understand the nature of a nursing home before you attend it. Use positive statements as much as possible but make it clear that it's a place where they keep their voices down, walk instead of run, look out for other people in the corridors, and understand that elderly people might not see them or notice them when they are walking around, so the kids should be aware to get out of people's way first.
5. 5
   Help your kids to not take any negativity personally. Some elderly residents in nursing homes are irritable and express their dislike of children readily. Explain to your kids that elderly people in nursing homes can be in constant pain, have lost the ability to do things they once dearly loved, like reading, or doing puzzles etc. Tell your kids that it is important to stand in the shoes of these people and to try to understand how hard it must feel for them and to be aware that a little grumpiness is often a reflection of their pain and loss, not a dislike of children in general.
6. 6
   Take things to do. This is especially important for young kids but kids of any age will appreciate having something to do when it all gets "boring" – which, it inevitably will. Truth be told, there are numerous adults who'd like to take a book too! Get them to gather items such as a book to read, a coloring-in book to color, magnetic boards, electronic games, writing book, etc. Anything that they can get on with quietly in a corner is ideal.
7. 7
   Keep the visits short. It is kinder and easier generally to make more frequent short visits than to make occasional long ones. Where possible, try this routine; the kids will get used to it very quickly.
8. 8
   Let your kids interact the way that they feel is most appropriate. Once your kids have understood the meaning for the visit, and know and respect the ground rules applicable to the visit, give them a little free rein to adjust to the situation themselves and to approach the elderly resident in their own way. Kids have a different perspective on life that many of us lose sight of as middle-aged adults, pursued by our permanent rush. Let the very young and the very old communicate in their own very special way and just sit back and watch.

   
   

Tips

• If your child has a bad experience at the nursing home, debrief with them to find out what happened and what they think they can do next time to either avoid the same outcome, or to make things better. It is important that they learn to deal with difficult situations rather than hide from them.

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