Dealing With Alzheimer's Tantrums
Let's face it, an awful lot of so-called Alzheimer's violence is not even due to Alzheimer's. Nor dementia of any kind. It may well be a serious previously-undiagnosed mental illness, such as paranoid schizophrenia. You think that's incredible? Well, these days, I recognize the warning keywords that suggest family members get a psychiatric consultation, as well as an Alzheimer's workup.
Examples are "Mom's nerves," "Grandma was difficult," "Auntie Em was suspicious of strangers,", "Dad never wanted to see anyone." I'm not diagnosing, just suggesting that family members ask themselves is there something else going on there? Schizophrenic and psychotic elders don't belong with those who have dementia.
People with Alzheimer's dementia are not intrinsically violent. They are reactive, not instigators. When people with Alzheimer's have what I'd call tantrums, we can usually figure out what it's about.
Most Alzheimer tantrums are fear-driven. They typically occur through caregiver error, often involving invasion of privacy. They usually occur in the bathroom, in connection with bathing or using the toilet. They also occur when a well-meaning caregiver steps forward instead of back. Sometimes, they occur when something too surprising happens.
Five Most Common Tantrum Scenarios:
1. Bathing: which is often a fear issue between people with dementia and their shower. In care facilities, this is the main reason for staff being hit. It's not the fault of the person with dementia. It is the result of speediness and insensitivity from task-driven care staff. Staff need to introduce themselves daily, ask permission to help, start showers with a hand-held shower moving up the body and respect reluctance when it is manifested. Or they will be struck;
2. Toileting: a lifelong private matter from age 5 to the onset of dementia. Again, the caregiver should ask permission, be relaxed and sensitive and act casually, all at the same time. And good dementia caregivers can usually multi-task this very well.
3. Emotional upset: this is usually the at-home scenario for dementia tantrum. The spouse, usually a husband, is upset, probably due to fear, demonstrated as anger and usually connected with all the emotional overload of a family dealing with dementia and possibly failing to talk openly about it. Spouse has anger, partner moves in to soothe and calm -- WHAM! People with dementia need space when angry. They need you to step back and apologizing might help too, okay? And either wait it out or move off for a while. Give time for the tantrum to pass and it will.
4. Something physically unpleasant happening suddenly, brings emotional eruption. A blast of cold wind in the face, very upsetting for those with dementia. Likewise, being rained on. Walking across a pleasant lawn when the sprinkler comes on causes, as I witnessed once, shrieks, wailing and panting with clutching of heart and sinking to the ground.
5. Hearing bad news. Your mother, whose mother died 40 years ago, asks where her mother is. This is because, in her normal dementia, she doesn't know this day, date, place or year. You kindly tell her that her mother is dead. She reels back in shock as if hearing it for the first time -- which she is, sort of. That will teach you to use the kind of pleasant cunningly evasive communication that caregivers master.
My Motto: Never lie, but do not always tell the truth when evasion will cover it.
Gray-Davidson, Frena "Dealing With Alzheimer's Tantrums." Dealing With Alzheimer's Tantrums. 18 May. 2010 EzineArticles.com. 7 Feb. 2012 <http://ezinearticles.com/?Dealing-With-Alzheimers-Tantrums&id=4316845>.
Gray-Davidson, F. (2010, May 18). Dealing With Alzheimer's Tantrums. Retrieved February 7, 2012, from http://ezinearticles.com/?Dealing-With-Alzheimers-Tantrums&id=4316845
Gray-Davidson, Frena "Dealing With Alzheimer's Tantrums." Dealing With Alzheimer's Tantrums EzineArticles.com. http://ezinearticles.com/?Dealing-With-Alzheimers-Tantrums&id=4316845
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